IMP MIDNA: The Owners Manual and Guide
by Midna Hytwilian
Summary: Congratulations on owning your very own IMP MIDNA unit! Inside is some information about your new friend.


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Disclaimer: Inspired by the many wonderful Owners Guides. There's only TWO in the Zelda catagory so I'll write up my own.

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**(IMP) MIDNA: The Owners Guide and Maintenance Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud of owner of your very own (IMP) MIDNA unit. To ensure that you get the full usage of your sassy Twilight Princess we suggest you pay very close attention to this manual.

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**Basic Information**

Name: (IMP) MIDNA (Twilight Princess)

Manufacturing Date: DISCLOSED

Place of Manufacturing: Twilight Realm

Height: Short

Weight: Medium

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**Your (IMP) MIDNA comes with the following accessories:**

(1) Fused Shadows Helmet

(2) Theme and lament/desperation/hour of desperation

(3) magic

(4) WOLF LINK unit

Other accessories in stores include Mirror Shards and Missing Fused Shadow Helmet pieces.

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**Programming**

The (IMP) MIDNA unit is a sassy and yet friendly friend who works on her own and will only interact if you program her to. (IMP) MIDNA will always stay by your side if you follow her set of rules that she lays down once assembled.

**ADVENTURER: **If you have no one to adventure with the (IMP) MIDNA unit is glad to do so with her WOLF LINK. Make sure to keep her away from sharp objects, as she will swing them around as a weapon and most likely hurt you in the process.

**PRANKSTER: **If you're looking for revenge on a Halloween night or April's Fools Day the (IMP) MIDNA unit will gladly help plot with you. WARNING: World domination may result in the process.

**ZANT-BAIT: **Looking for a ZANT unit? Keep (IMP) MIDNA nearby and in sight of a ZANT unit and he will surely show up to kidnap her. Make sure to tie him up before he does so. Make sure this is a stray ZANT unit. WARNING: (IMP) MIDNA unit may attack.

**(TP) LINK-BAIT: **As close friends, (TP) LINK may run to her if spotted. If you would like to keep (TP) LINK unit away, make sure to hide her indoors as the (TP) LINK unit carries a Hawk Eye.

Got anything else you need? Your (IMP) MIDNA unit is talented and can do almost anything!

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**Your (IMP) MIDNA has 8 different settings**

Mischevious (locked)

Romantic (locked)

Destructive (locked)

Friendly

Creepy

Angry (locked)

Sad/Angsty (locked)

Remotely Removed

The Romantic setting is reserved for LINK units only. The Mischevious setting is controlled by you for your own safety. The Destructive setting is only reserved for the (TP) GANON/GANONDORF unit. The Angry setting is only for ZANT units as she will attack him and be inraged. Sad/Angsty setting is only for when she reflects on her past and her peoples' past.

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**Other Unit Interactions:**

**(TP) LINK: **Although some people are against it, (TP) LINK units and (IMP) MIDNA units may interact romantically. They may also interact as friends or social pals. Be alert of your (IMP) MIDNA unit, as she will morph into his shadow.

**(TP) ZELDA: **The two react as buisness friends, as they are both princesses. If around a (TP) LINK unit, the two will fight to the death.

**WOLF LINK: **(IMP) MIDNA units treat all WOLF LINK units as their loyal pets and will ride them around from time to time. Although sometimes the two units may be angry at the other, be careful of (IMP) MIDNA picking up a sharp object and swinging it at WOLF LINK or WOLF LINK attempting to bite (IMP) MIDNA.

**ZANT: **Around ZANT units, (IMP) MIDNA will automatically switch to the Angry setting. If she has the missing Fused Shadow Helmet pieces she will destroy the unit without a second thought. Make sure the two units do not meet unless you want to see some action.

**(TP) GANON/GANONDORF: **The two units will interact with anger and automatically switch to Destructive setting. If (IMP) MIDNA has the missing Fused Shadow Helmet pieces she will transform and charge at (TP) GANON/GANONDORF. Unless you want your current destination to come down on top of everyone, do not allow the two to meet.

**ILIA: **ILIA units and (IMP) MIDNA units do not get along, period. Much like ZANT and (TP) GANON/GANONDORF units, the two will battle it out for a (TP) LINK unit, even if one is not present.

**MIDNA: **MIDNA units and (IMP) MIDNA untis will stare at each other for long hours in confusion. The only way to get them to stop is to reset the two and make sure they do not spot each other.

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**Cleaning**

(IMP) MIDNA is fully capable of cleaning herself and will not allow others to do so.

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**Energy**

Your (IMP) MIDNA feeds on darkness and shadows. Make sure to give her eight hours of sleep inside a shadow, everyday. (IMP) MIDNA is rather picky about her food and refuses to eat pumpkins or soup made by Yetis. She will not drink milk. Do not allow her near chocolate, as she will get a sugar rush and cause havoc.

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**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: My (IMP) MIDNA unit refuses to talk to me! What gives?

A: Your (IMP) MIDNA unit may be on Remotely Removed setting. Try resetting her or holding her WOLF LINK unit hostage.

Q: I just found my (IMP) MIDNA making out with a ZANT unit. How the hell do I get her to stop?

A: Remind your (IMP) MIDNA unit that he has betrayed her. (IMP) MIDNA units tend to defy their owners if their owners give off a sense of hostile. If you have repeatedly said you hated ZANT then she will react that way. Try resetting her if she continues. If it does not stop, either send her back for a replacement or allow the odd relationship to continue.

Q: My (IMP) MIDNA keeps laughing in the middle of the night. Why won't she stop and how do I get her to?

A: Your unit seems to be stuck in Mischevious setting from the last time it was used. This is a common problem among (IMP) MIDNA units and can only be solved by asking her about her past, thus putting her in Sad/Angsty setting.

Q: My (IMP) MIDNA took a butcher knive and tried killing me, how do I get her to stop?

A: Reset your (IMP) MIDNA unit and see if it works. If not, send her back immediatly for a replacement.

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**Troubleshooting**

Problem: She has been staring romantically out the window for the past month.

Solution: Simply tell her she is being a damsel in distress. This will get your (IMP) MIDNA to snap at you and go back to her regular ways.

Problem: My (IMP) MIDNA stalks me while I'm at school, is that normal?

Solution: Yes, (IMP) MIDNA tends to follow with WOLF LINK to look for (TP) LINK units that can help her.

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This is the complete manual for (IMP) MIDNA. With proper care and avoiding any of the issues mentioned, she'll live a long, and healthy life. She will live for at most 40 years and will be sure to entertain you. Ignoring her retorts and letting her angst about her past, your (IMP) MIDNA unit will be happy for as long as she lives.

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End file.
